Don't Call Us; We'll Call You!

Let me start of this with a very simple statement. Touch-tone phones are fun. They are quite fun. I have learnt to play some simple, and original, tunes on them. It is fun. There's nothing quite like playing on a touch-tone phone. I think that it sound be an official musical instrument. And if it can be, then I want to play it.

Now don't get me wrong. A nice guitar song is good. And the piano isn't half bad either. But the touch-tone phone has helped make this world great. It's connected the lives of people all over the world. It's responsible for business being successful, and other ones not being. It has only been around for the past 50+ years, but everyone has at least one phone, or can easily access one. Who can say that of other instruments?

And what about the clarity of tone? Sure, other instruments may have a richer sound, but when you get down to it, those are just impurities in the tone. Plus, you don't need to spend hours tuning a complex instrument with a touch-tone phone. And they're cheap! Do you know how much it costs for a touch-t0ne phone? Almost nothing!

Also, the touch-tone phone is light weight. Compared with the bulky tuba, or massive Grand Piano, it's a breeze to carry. Sure, there may be smaller instruments like the flute or triangle, but the former you need to blow into, which is work, and the latter is only monotonic. Not much fun, in my opinion.

But what if you've just learnt a new piece of music? How will you be able to play it for friends and family? Especially if they're far away? Well, you could record the music. That's one option. But, is you're musical instrument is the touch-tone phone, then you can play it for anyone, anywhere! That's communicating music. That's spreading peace and harmony. That's good.

Finally, I would like to say that if anyone wants to join in my touch-tone phone band, I'll take auditions some time in the near future. So sign up (if, and only if you really want to though)!

DWITE, Happy Cat, And A Tale Of Programming

This, is Happy Cat. Bow down to Happy Cat! BOW DOWN!

In other news, my coding team placed 15 out of 90 or so teams! Yea! And the best part is, Fil and Dave, the other two people on our team (Besides myself and Warren) didn't come! (We did have another laddy on our team, Mark, but he was only there for the first 35 minutes or so.)

...Happy Cat rules! I = 7331! Etc, etc.

In other news... Pizza rocks, coders can live on Swedish Berries, Fuzzy Peachs and pop alone, and don't mess with our code with your "You have exceed the time limit!" or we will mod our code so that it doesn't! (That's how we got points for the fifth problem.)

Hmm... reading over this, I can see that only other people who wrote the contest will have any idea what I'm talking about. So Amber, this last bit has all been for you.

SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!

What else to write about... Well, I did have a Chemistry Test. That was hard. And I had a Religion test, which wasn't hard. And I have first spare, so that's my crossword period.
I found that they have Imprints (The University of Waterloo newspaper) at a local "The Beat Goes On".

And I guess I'll leave you with a quote of my own:
"Programming is 5% perseverance, 10% problem solving, 15% typing, 20% Happy Cat, and 50% not commenting!" - Travis Gerhardt

Presto Magnifico!

Well, what a week it's been. Let me summarize it:

Step 1: Get Stood Up

*Monday, 8 AM, Bus*
I like to code. This is a fact that most people know. So when I thought our coding practice was Monday, I was going to go to it. Then I talk to my friend, Harrison (You'll hear much of him in the future.) and he says that he has band that night until 4PM. So I'm thinking Hey, I'll meet up with him after coding, and we'll take the bus home.
*After school, at School*
My coding teacher can't be found. I wander the semi-smelly hallways looking for him. Semi-smelly since someone let off a fart bomb. 2o minutes later, I find him, and I'm informed that the coding practice is Tuesday. Great... but no biggy. I decide to wait the rest of the time for Harrison and do as we planned.
*4 PM*
No Harrison, but there are still people in the band room, so I wait.
*4:20 PM*
Still no Harrison. Hmm... Perhaps he's already down at the bus stop...
*4:40 PM*
Down at the bus stop, no Harrison. HE STOOD ME UP!

Step 2: Add a Dash of USAP

*3 PM, Tuesday, University of Waterloo*
So we were going to film some USAP on Tuesday. I get there at 3PM, and Amber shows about 15 minutes later. We discuss music, Valentine's day, Maja (A good kid after all) and other things, like why I have a huge tub of cinnamon hearts. Robyn arrives later, then Katie, and finally Susie. We start filming, rehearsing, and all that at 4:30 or so.
*4:30 PM*
Everyone's in costume, the camera's there, and it's all a go. Or is it? I start to smash cinnamon hearts with Susie's hammer, Katie isn't acting... period, and we're all a little nervous about acting in front of the camera.
*6:00 PM*
We have the one scene shot, on scenette done (I was the talking dog!), and Robyn has left us. Then the fun begins... However, I can not reveal what occurred then as if I did, 1. I would have a hammer coming out my nasal passage, 2. Kurt wouldn't love me, and 3. I would have another person or two on me. So I'm sorry, but you will have to put together your own ideas. And no, ORGY is not a valid idea.

Step 3: Square The Whole Thing!

*Wednesday, After school, School*
Euclid Preparation! Yes I got to do up some math after school for fun. Hey! There were free cookies! Anyway, after the whole thingy, I talk to my math teacher about something she doesn't quite get. So I explain it to her. (Yes, I really am a nerd.) Then we discuss the possibility or making a quartic formula; a formula to solve an equation like: 4x^4 + 6x^3 - 5x^2 - 7x + 12. She says that if I can make one that's simple and could be remembered, I should get some mega bonus marks. (I personally expect that she'll just go "If you can make that, then you should be able to do your homework!")
*On the Bus Ride Home*
I make the quadratic formula from scratch. Looks like I'll have my weekend cut out for me...

Step 4: Season With Some Good Old H2O

*Wednesday, 10PM, at home*
The forecast called for freezing rain through out the night, and it had already been thundering through the day. I know how the world thinks. The world thinks If that stupid Travis kid gets up at 6AM tomorrow, when he has the luxury of getting up at 8, then I'm going to make it a snow day to tick him off! Oh really? Think you're that smart, huh?
So I set my alarm for 6AM, so it will be a snow day.

Step 5: Plan, Plan, and Scheme!

*Thursday, 6AM, in bed*
"And cancellations are: All schools under the Waterloo Catholic School District School Board, all schools..."I jump out of bed, run upstairs, turn on the computer... and wait. (My computer takes a while to load.) Finally, I go to the board website to see that schools are canceled.
Now, on a completely unrelated note, I think that is fine that someone dances in their pajamas or whatever they want when finding out something really good, especially if they do so in their own home. I don't think that it should make them feel less masculine, or feminine, but should make them feel fine. Thus, laughter from one's parents, or little sister, is never appreciated. Thank you for your attention.
Then I send out an e-mail to spread the good news. Hallelujah!

Step 6: Make Container, and Stir

*Thursday, 9AM, Walking To Harrison's House*
Someone singing "It's a great day, What can I say?; I wouldn't have it, Any other way!" should not freak out old ladies. And I have a good singing voice! People have told me this! And I didn't pay them either!
*Thursday, 9:45 AM, Green Patch*
Anyway, I start to make a fort with Harrison. It's huge. Huge as in "This will easily fit us" huge. Huge as in "We could get a sofa in here" huge. And so we build, and we talk. Contrary to popular belief, guys do not solely talk about girls, sex, cars, or any combination there of. In fact, we never even mentioned the last two, and girls only stayed to two people (Who shall remain nameless.) I think we mainly talked about video games, what the summer will be like, and about how on Earth we were going to make the fort.

Step 7: Sing While Your Cake Bakes

*Thursday, 1PM, Harrison's house*
Harrison and I both enjoy video games. He plays music. So when he's bored, he plays the music from video games. Now his sister, well, she isn't a big video game fan. I don't think she's played a video game at all. So after twenty minutes of listening to Harrison play, she walks in and asks me "Is he annoying you?" "No..." She's a little taken aback by this (I guess she thought that she could use me in her fight) and says "He's classically trained, and he's playing Nintendo music!" and then goes away.
A word to the wise: Never get video game companies mixed-up around him. You see, he was also playing Sega music (some Sonic stuff). So he has to go and correct his sister, which just gets her more upset. I hope that she learns from her mistake!!!

Step 8: Check The Cake Often While It Bakes!

*Thursday, 7PM, at home*
Never, I repeat NEVER take anything for granted, or imply that you do. Especially if it's a person. "May you never take single breath for granted" is what is written in the song Dance. (Great song by the way). I how that people will learn this, because you can't take a single thing for granted, because one day it may not be there. And who knows where you'd be then.

Step 9: Turn Up The Heat!

*Friday, Noon, Home*
...On my sister's forehead. So she has a fever, and (I guess you can go "Aww..." if you really wish...) she wants to cuddle with me when she's sick. So I sit down on the couch, she grabs a pillow and puts in on my lap, and lies down.
*Half an Hour Later*
She's asleep. And I'm hungry. And my leg's asleep. And I'm hungry. And I'm really overheating. So since the only thing that matters is that I'm hungry, and slip out from under the pillow, and get something to eat.

Step 10: Counting Flowers On The Wall While Waiting

*Friday, 9PM, Home*
Old songs rock. I remember one song I would hear every few weeks a couple years back; "Counting Flowers On The Wall". Good song. It's about someone explaining what they do when they're bored.
"Counting flowers on the wall that don't bother me at all, playing solitaire till dawn with a deck of 51, smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo, so don't tell me I've nothing to do."
So that was a great song to find again. Good tune.

Step 11: Eat!

*Friday, 11PM, in Bed*
Full circle. Sort of anyway. This week taught me a lot, much of which is on a more personal level. I've learnt how much meaning can be in the littlest thing, and how little meaning can be in the biggest thing. I've learnt that relationships will change, people will change, and situations will change. Next year will come, and I'll be in University, a little wiser, older, and more mature. And possibly richer or poorer.
The seasons will change, the years will come and go, but some things will stand the test of time. Others won't though, and that's fine. You have to take the good with the bad, and accept it as it comes. There will always be tomorrow. There will always be another twist in the road, another bend, but don't give up. You're never truly alone in this world.

May someone give me half a cookie!

Ok. Finally, after 1, 2, carry the 4... 3 full days of being off the internet, my Dad finally has his computer running half decently. However, this is still a far cry from having my computer back and up on the internet (Which will be nice when it is, but until then...) yet it is still a step. Hooray! Unfortunately, it has led some to believe that either I didn't care about them any more, or that I have come down with some hard to pronounce, fatal disease.

1. I do want to talk to people. I just can't right now, seeing as how my internet isn't on my computer, so I can't be on non-stop. It also means that I can only check my e-mail once a day, also causing the illusion that I don't care. I do. I just can't talk much now. Wait until I get my computer back up and online, and then you can get back to the normal routine of telling me how much we all should go out and buy ladles.

2. I do not have a disease. Unless breathing is a disease. That and living. So it is possible that I have a disease. But I assure you nothing fatal. For example, I don't have appendicitis. Or arthritis of the hand and mouth. Or a gun pointed at my head. So I'm alive and well. And if you don't believe me, then my captors will just have to send out propaganda saying that I am. Please, don't make them angry. I've had to eat borscht for the past three days.

Um... communism is good! The quarks and antiquarks from the falafel in the parlour served by penguins, who have the audacity to eat PINK cupcakes, shall bring you a glockenspiel that can be played with your nasal passages while you walk across a threshold. Sorry. Couldn't resist.

In conclusion, USAP should have an episode done by this Sunday, if I can keep the band together.

U-SAP!

So I've got scenes 1-5 done up for the Soap Opera thingy, and all I've gotten is positive comments, and some constructive criticism, so I'm ready to finally close off the episode today. Hopefully, the last few scenes will be done by the end of today!

Very cool! As for shooting, I don't know when that will take place, but as soon as I get all the footage, and edit it into a episode, I'll post a link, to where ever we have it stored.

Adieu, adieu, remember me!

Question Period!

Do you know who I am?

No one knows who I am...

Seriously. No one knows me completely.

Not even me...

So ask me a question by commenting, and I shall answer it truthfully. And it will all be truthful.

It may just not be the whole truth...

And that my friends is simple suspense.

Simple idea, complex answers...

Debonair: A Beginner's Guide for the Guy

This is something of a tutorial for a certain fellow who seems to be unlucky in love. Well my friend, hopefully this guide shall help. (I consider myself somewhat good as I have get witty remarks out there at times, and can be quite the charmer... As I was once told by my Chaplin. Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up.) And for those of you who think that I'm getting someone else to write this for me, I just have to tell you that you are wrong. Anyway, on with the guide!

*DISCLAIMER: I am not responsible for the results, unless they are good. This can be used as a way to try and get girls to like you, or to improve your relationship. Just don't do it too much, or you may turn out looking sleazy.

Compliments work wonders

If your special someone is feeling down, then try to compliment them. Bring up past good things that they have done, or compliment them in other ways. The results can be quite astounding.

She: "I got insulted today because of how I look. I was told I was ugly."

Bad idea:
"Well... now that you mention it..."

Ok idea:
"They were lying to you. You aren't ugly."

Great idea:
"With those heavenly curves and gorgeous lips? They must be delusional!" Or other such compliments.

Wipe Delusions From Their Eyes

At one time or another, we all think badly of ourselves and what we do. Sometime, we don't even have a reason. Women (I think this is more in women than men, but that may just be me.) sometimes say "I think I'm fat."

Bad idea:
"Well... now that you mention it..."

Ok idea:
"Let's go look at a Body Mass Index chart to get an unbiased opinion."

Great idea:
"You will always be beautiful in my eyes. If you wish to lose some pounds, then I shall go out and lose some myself. After all, I only expect that it can increase your beauty, if you were any less beautiful than an angel already."

Am I boring you?

This line is something you have to be ready for. Variations include: Am I being a pest? and Do you want me to leave you alone?

Bad idea:
"Well... now that you mention it..."

Ok idea:
"I was a little stressed before, but you aren't bugging me. I'm feeling fine."

Great idea:
"You could never bug me. Just knowing that you are there makes my worries drift away."

The Grand Scheme

This only covers a fraction of what you may be told and have to counter with it. Here are the main rules:
1. Compliment them.
2. Show your love to them.
3. Remind them that they are the only one for you.
4. Love them. Unconditionally.

Oh, and don't say really stupid lines. Like: "You tell me you love me and all, but I really can't be sure." Or anything saying what you aren't going to do with them. Either omit it, or tell them if they are pushing you. Lines like: "I can't kiss you because I have a cold and my nose is dripping..." and "Well, I would kiss you good night, but do you know how many bacteria there are in the human mouth? Uck!" are not the most beautiful.

The other big rule is to be open and not argue. Getting mad at someone over something such as why she thinks she's fat, or a stupid little thing are just not worth it. Just back down. Let it slide.


Well, I can see that I will probably get some comments from the girls reading this blog, as well as some guys (If there are any brave enough!), but try to keep them positive. And if any girls have anything they wish to add to this list on what works for them, please feel free to. This is by no means a final draft. Thanks!

Implosion in 5...

Exams, an essay, and co-op! Oh my! Exams, an essay, and co-op! Oh my!

Then there are scholarships too. I mean, just academically, this next week will be hard. I have an essay due Monday, 20 hours of co-op to do over the next week, and two exams to study for. One of which, my Physics exam, I want to do up every review question we have been given, study ever term we are supposed to know, and in general over-dose on Physics. Seriously. If you see me acting a bit light headed next week, it's because my brain is studying Physics non-stop. And to a certain someone who says that I can't do it, the Colts lost. You will too. Mr. UA.

Now that takes care of academics, I still have more to do. Two scholarships are due right after my Physics exam as well. That's something nice to look forward to. I get to relax after these exams by indulging in myself, and telling people that they should give me money because I am so great (you need not bow.) But hopefully I will be able to rest after that.

Oh, but the fun can't stop there. Now I want to talk to you about some people. They shall remain nameless, and most likely you will only know one, mainly if you are one of them. Over the Christmas break a met someone the internet, and the next night stopped her from committing suicide. And then I helped a few more times afterwards, and since then I have talked to her about her problems, and some problems I have had as well. Everything's cool between us right now (As far as I know anyway) but I'm still helping her with some of her problems.

Next, there is a friend of mine who has been depressed for ages now. Doesn't want help though. That's the same as looking at your leg, going "I have a cut and there is an infection starting" and then moving on. The only difference is you can't see the problem in your head. Talk to your parents! Go to a shrink! You. Need. Help.

Then there is another person who may be getting into more than he/she releases. However, since they told me that if they were the situation of being a concerned friend of someone in the same situation they are in, that they would try to help them, at least I know that he/she is aware of the problems. (And to those who just woke up, re-read that sentence a few times. It makes some sense.) This is a good thing. A VERY good thing.

Then there are students having trouble deciding what they want to do with their lives. That's a problem I have as well. I want to do so much, and I have the ability to do so much, but what do I ultimately want to do? Everyone goes through this question, and it is hard to answer. Advice to anyone who has this question: Do what you like.

Finally, there is one more person who is not helping my stress level. This person could potentially change a lot of things in my life, for good or bad. We shall have to wait and see what happens however. I will hopefully have more information on Monday. I may not though.

So, how am I coping with all this? Well, there is one person who has been able to help me with everything. Just thinking of this person when I'm feeling down is usually enough to make me feel better. And what is really nice is his/her concern. I am amazed by how much he/she cares for my welfare and state of mind. To you, and I should really hope you know who you are, I thank you, my Citadel. I don't know how badly off I would be if I could not talk to you. I owe you a great debt.

If you are wondering why I wrote this, I thought it might be worthwhile to drift back into writing in a blog(gish) style. Essays are fun and all, but since I have to write one for English, I should probably stray away for a little while.

Fictional Fiction!

She stood up. She would not stand for such disobedience from a student. So she sat back down.

This obviously confused the students. Which is strange. I thought ignorance was bliss.

Ok. So I can't really write fiction. I mean, fiction is pretty hard to write, especially when you try not to copy people's plots or characters. I mean, when you can just take someone else's plot and characters, then fiction is easy. I mean, otherwise, you have to actually think. I mean, think? Not something I will do... unless I'm paid. Let's try this again, anyway.

So the teacher was back in her seat. Well, actually she was on top of her seat. Sitting on top of her seat. In a diginified fashion, of course. She was distaught. No, distrawed. Upset. My editor said to use bigger words, but it's not easy.

She made a mountian out of a mole hill. She was magical I guess. Or a really good storyteller. Well whichever the case was (I think it was the Mulroney vs Newman case actually) it happened. It did I tell you! IT DID!

Um, well... I have to go somewhere. Perhaps I need to see a man about a dog? In hindsight now, that line is really bad. A man about a dog? Why not a dog about a man? Like that talking dog I had mentioned before. He can talk. English at least. Not flawlessly though. Still has a bit of trouble with the adverbs.

Ok. Well, I'm going to blow my cover. I wrote all of this. Yes I, the talking dog, wrote this. AND I SHALL RULE THE WORLD! Um... Something in my keyboard. Da-na-na-na, Da-na-na-na, Da-na-na-na, Da-na-na-na, Da-na-na-na, Da-na-na-na, BATMAN!

How... To Deal With Jerks

We all have met them in our lives. There are people who are generally jerks. What kind of a jerk have you met? Check on the JERK-O-METER!

Smart Aleck Jerk

This guy is smart. Or at least he knows how to emulate it. The problem with the Smart Aleck, is you can never be fully if they are smart or if they just act that way. Personally, if you find someone just acting smart, then you can deal with them quickly. You can whip out something that you know, and if they are just acting smart, their reply will most likely be "That doesn't matter!" And then they may try to redeem his/her intelligence by saying something they do know.

The problem is when you come on someone who is smart, and acts with an attitude. This can be hard to deal with. I mean, if you ask them something, then it is very possible that they will know what the answer is. So how do you defeat them? Usually you can't.
However, the Smart Aleck should be distinguished from the actually bright kid who doesn't have attitude. This guy can get picked on too and taken down as well, just because he is grouped with the Smart Aleck. This can be a major problem, since he might just gain an attitude because of this, as a form of defence. So don't pick on a nice smart kid, or you could be shooting yourself in the foot.

The Insensitive Jerk

This guy is a real pain. Maybe your cat just died and he makes a joke about a cat getting killed. Or you just feel off your bike, and he says that you should put on training wheels. Not the best guy to hang around with, is it? The main problem with trying to deal with the guy, is that if you try revenge, then he may get worse. However, it may also be the only way he will learn. The other option is to talk to him. Hopefully, he will get the clue that he is a jerk.

The Stubborn Jerk

This guy can really get on your nerves. He might call your house three times in the same hour, trying to sell you something. Or the person who is so sure that he is right, that he spends hours trying to prove it. These guys are just a general pain. I mean, even if you explain exactly why they should give up, they don't. They way to deal with telemarketers if to go "I'm sorry, but I can't make that decision. Let me transfer you." (Then you come on with a bad accent.) "I WOULD LIKE A LARGE PEPPERONI PIZZA!" Then hang up. As for someone who keeps bugging you and is just wrong, either you waste your time proving them, or you can be "I don't understand. Could you get me more information?" Usually, they will find out that they were wrong all along.

The I-Think-I'm-Funny Jerk

This guy tells jokes. BAD jokes. "Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other SLIDE! Get it? Slide!" And he doesn't get it when people don't laugh. He just decides to try harder. So, how do you deal with him? Either tell him that he is about as funny as a turnip, or (you can be really mean) and repeat his joke in front of the same people a week later, and when no one laughs tell him "That's how unfunny you are."

The Old Joke Jerk

This is just as annoying. This guy hears one joke on elephants (with the punch line being "I don't want an elephant!"), and then constantly says the punch line over and over. He will ask you for some sheets, and you say you can't help with that. Then you ask "Is there anything else I can give you?" to which he replies "I don't want an elephant!" This guy doesn't get the hint. How to solve his problem? Well, if you use the tactic described above, then he will just laugh at the reference. So you have almost no way of getting around of this unless you tell him outright, or you wait until a new joke comes along. (Then the whole cycle starts over, new and fully of shininess!)

The Jerk Jerk

All this guy does is act like a jerk. And for no reason. He insults people and sticks to the same people he insults. And it really seems like he has no reason. Why does this guy arise? Probably because he is having a problem in his life, or he needs to have a sense of power. And once he gets a sense of power, he wants to keep it. So optimally, you have to get rid of his feeling that he is in power. If he gets hit by a tornado of rejection, and everyone ignores him, then he will have to stop. Or explode. Either or.

So, to summarise, we all go through these stages. One time or another, we become on of these types of jerks. Heck, some of us even become two or more of these jerk simultaneously. You also have to remember that the physce of the jerk is like a crystal. They usually do it because they feel insecure about themselves. While sometimes you need to take down a jerk in order for them to learn, just be wary. He may have been mildly annoying before, but now he may kill you.