Question Period!

Do you know who I am?

No one knows who I am...

Seriously. No one knows me completely.

Not even me...

So ask me a question by commenting, and I shall answer it truthfully. And it will all be truthful.

It may just not be the whole truth...

And that my friends is simple suspense.

Simple idea, complex answers...

Debonair: A Beginner's Guide for the Guy

This is something of a tutorial for a certain fellow who seems to be unlucky in love. Well my friend, hopefully this guide shall help. (I consider myself somewhat good as I have get witty remarks out there at times, and can be quite the charmer... As I was once told by my Chaplin. Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up.) And for those of you who think that I'm getting someone else to write this for me, I just have to tell you that you are wrong. Anyway, on with the guide!

*DISCLAIMER: I am not responsible for the results, unless they are good. This can be used as a way to try and get girls to like you, or to improve your relationship. Just don't do it too much, or you may turn out looking sleazy.

Compliments work wonders

If your special someone is feeling down, then try to compliment them. Bring up past good things that they have done, or compliment them in other ways. The results can be quite astounding.

She: "I got insulted today because of how I look. I was told I was ugly."

Bad idea:
"Well... now that you mention it..."

Ok idea:
"They were lying to you. You aren't ugly."

Great idea:
"With those heavenly curves and gorgeous lips? They must be delusional!" Or other such compliments.

Wipe Delusions From Their Eyes

At one time or another, we all think badly of ourselves and what we do. Sometime, we don't even have a reason. Women (I think this is more in women than men, but that may just be me.) sometimes say "I think I'm fat."

Bad idea:
"Well... now that you mention it..."

Ok idea:
"Let's go look at a Body Mass Index chart to get an unbiased opinion."

Great idea:
"You will always be beautiful in my eyes. If you wish to lose some pounds, then I shall go out and lose some myself. After all, I only expect that it can increase your beauty, if you were any less beautiful than an angel already."

Am I boring you?

This line is something you have to be ready for. Variations include: Am I being a pest? and Do you want me to leave you alone?

Bad idea:
"Well... now that you mention it..."

Ok idea:
"I was a little stressed before, but you aren't bugging me. I'm feeling fine."

Great idea:
"You could never bug me. Just knowing that you are there makes my worries drift away."

The Grand Scheme

This only covers a fraction of what you may be told and have to counter with it. Here are the main rules:
1. Compliment them.
2. Show your love to them.
3. Remind them that they are the only one for you.
4. Love them. Unconditionally.

Oh, and don't say really stupid lines. Like: "You tell me you love me and all, but I really can't be sure." Or anything saying what you aren't going to do with them. Either omit it, or tell them if they are pushing you. Lines like: "I can't kiss you because I have a cold and my nose is dripping..." and "Well, I would kiss you good night, but do you know how many bacteria there are in the human mouth? Uck!" are not the most beautiful.

The other big rule is to be open and not argue. Getting mad at someone over something such as why she thinks she's fat, or a stupid little thing are just not worth it. Just back down. Let it slide.


Well, I can see that I will probably get some comments from the girls reading this blog, as well as some guys (If there are any brave enough!), but try to keep them positive. And if any girls have anything they wish to add to this list on what works for them, please feel free to. This is by no means a final draft. Thanks!

Implosion in 5...

Exams, an essay, and co-op! Oh my! Exams, an essay, and co-op! Oh my!

Then there are scholarships too. I mean, just academically, this next week will be hard. I have an essay due Monday, 20 hours of co-op to do over the next week, and two exams to study for. One of which, my Physics exam, I want to do up every review question we have been given, study ever term we are supposed to know, and in general over-dose on Physics. Seriously. If you see me acting a bit light headed next week, it's because my brain is studying Physics non-stop. And to a certain someone who says that I can't do it, the Colts lost. You will too. Mr. UA.

Now that takes care of academics, I still have more to do. Two scholarships are due right after my Physics exam as well. That's something nice to look forward to. I get to relax after these exams by indulging in myself, and telling people that they should give me money because I am so great (you need not bow.) But hopefully I will be able to rest after that.

Oh, but the fun can't stop there. Now I want to talk to you about some people. They shall remain nameless, and most likely you will only know one, mainly if you are one of them. Over the Christmas break a met someone the internet, and the next night stopped her from committing suicide. And then I helped a few more times afterwards, and since then I have talked to her about her problems, and some problems I have had as well. Everything's cool between us right now (As far as I know anyway) but I'm still helping her with some of her problems.

Next, there is a friend of mine who has been depressed for ages now. Doesn't want help though. That's the same as looking at your leg, going "I have a cut and there is an infection starting" and then moving on. The only difference is you can't see the problem in your head. Talk to your parents! Go to a shrink! You. Need. Help.

Then there is another person who may be getting into more than he/she releases. However, since they told me that if they were the situation of being a concerned friend of someone in the same situation they are in, that they would try to help them, at least I know that he/she is aware of the problems. (And to those who just woke up, re-read that sentence a few times. It makes some sense.) This is a good thing. A VERY good thing.

Then there are students having trouble deciding what they want to do with their lives. That's a problem I have as well. I want to do so much, and I have the ability to do so much, but what do I ultimately want to do? Everyone goes through this question, and it is hard to answer. Advice to anyone who has this question: Do what you like.

Finally, there is one more person who is not helping my stress level. This person could potentially change a lot of things in my life, for good or bad. We shall have to wait and see what happens however. I will hopefully have more information on Monday. I may not though.

So, how am I coping with all this? Well, there is one person who has been able to help me with everything. Just thinking of this person when I'm feeling down is usually enough to make me feel better. And what is really nice is his/her concern. I am amazed by how much he/she cares for my welfare and state of mind. To you, and I should really hope you know who you are, I thank you, my Citadel. I don't know how badly off I would be if I could not talk to you. I owe you a great debt.

If you are wondering why I wrote this, I thought it might be worthwhile to drift back into writing in a blog(gish) style. Essays are fun and all, but since I have to write one for English, I should probably stray away for a little while.

Fictional Fiction!

She stood up. She would not stand for such disobedience from a student. So she sat back down.

This obviously confused the students. Which is strange. I thought ignorance was bliss.

Ok. So I can't really write fiction. I mean, fiction is pretty hard to write, especially when you try not to copy people's plots or characters. I mean, when you can just take someone else's plot and characters, then fiction is easy. I mean, otherwise, you have to actually think. I mean, think? Not something I will do... unless I'm paid. Let's try this again, anyway.

So the teacher was back in her seat. Well, actually she was on top of her seat. Sitting on top of her seat. In a diginified fashion, of course. She was distaught. No, distrawed. Upset. My editor said to use bigger words, but it's not easy.

She made a mountian out of a mole hill. She was magical I guess. Or a really good storyteller. Well whichever the case was (I think it was the Mulroney vs Newman case actually) it happened. It did I tell you! IT DID!

Um, well... I have to go somewhere. Perhaps I need to see a man about a dog? In hindsight now, that line is really bad. A man about a dog? Why not a dog about a man? Like that talking dog I had mentioned before. He can talk. English at least. Not flawlessly though. Still has a bit of trouble with the adverbs.

Ok. Well, I'm going to blow my cover. I wrote all of this. Yes I, the talking dog, wrote this. AND I SHALL RULE THE WORLD! Um... Something in my keyboard. Da-na-na-na, Da-na-na-na, Da-na-na-na, Da-na-na-na, Da-na-na-na, Da-na-na-na, BATMAN!

How... To Deal With Jerks

We all have met them in our lives. There are people who are generally jerks. What kind of a jerk have you met? Check on the JERK-O-METER!

Smart Aleck Jerk

This guy is smart. Or at least he knows how to emulate it. The problem with the Smart Aleck, is you can never be fully if they are smart or if they just act that way. Personally, if you find someone just acting smart, then you can deal with them quickly. You can whip out something that you know, and if they are just acting smart, their reply will most likely be "That doesn't matter!" And then they may try to redeem his/her intelligence by saying something they do know.

The problem is when you come on someone who is smart, and acts with an attitude. This can be hard to deal with. I mean, if you ask them something, then it is very possible that they will know what the answer is. So how do you defeat them? Usually you can't.
However, the Smart Aleck should be distinguished from the actually bright kid who doesn't have attitude. This guy can get picked on too and taken down as well, just because he is grouped with the Smart Aleck. This can be a major problem, since he might just gain an attitude because of this, as a form of defence. So don't pick on a nice smart kid, or you could be shooting yourself in the foot.

The Insensitive Jerk

This guy is a real pain. Maybe your cat just died and he makes a joke about a cat getting killed. Or you just feel off your bike, and he says that you should put on training wheels. Not the best guy to hang around with, is it? The main problem with trying to deal with the guy, is that if you try revenge, then he may get worse. However, it may also be the only way he will learn. The other option is to talk to him. Hopefully, he will get the clue that he is a jerk.

The Stubborn Jerk

This guy can really get on your nerves. He might call your house three times in the same hour, trying to sell you something. Or the person who is so sure that he is right, that he spends hours trying to prove it. These guys are just a general pain. I mean, even if you explain exactly why they should give up, they don't. They way to deal with telemarketers if to go "I'm sorry, but I can't make that decision. Let me transfer you." (Then you come on with a bad accent.) "I WOULD LIKE A LARGE PEPPERONI PIZZA!" Then hang up. As for someone who keeps bugging you and is just wrong, either you waste your time proving them, or you can be "I don't understand. Could you get me more information?" Usually, they will find out that they were wrong all along.

The I-Think-I'm-Funny Jerk

This guy tells jokes. BAD jokes. "Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other SLIDE! Get it? Slide!" And he doesn't get it when people don't laugh. He just decides to try harder. So, how do you deal with him? Either tell him that he is about as funny as a turnip, or (you can be really mean) and repeat his joke in front of the same people a week later, and when no one laughs tell him "That's how unfunny you are."

The Old Joke Jerk

This is just as annoying. This guy hears one joke on elephants (with the punch line being "I don't want an elephant!"), and then constantly says the punch line over and over. He will ask you for some sheets, and you say you can't help with that. Then you ask "Is there anything else I can give you?" to which he replies "I don't want an elephant!" This guy doesn't get the hint. How to solve his problem? Well, if you use the tactic described above, then he will just laugh at the reference. So you have almost no way of getting around of this unless you tell him outright, or you wait until a new joke comes along. (Then the whole cycle starts over, new and fully of shininess!)

The Jerk Jerk

All this guy does is act like a jerk. And for no reason. He insults people and sticks to the same people he insults. And it really seems like he has no reason. Why does this guy arise? Probably because he is having a problem in his life, or he needs to have a sense of power. And once he gets a sense of power, he wants to keep it. So optimally, you have to get rid of his feeling that he is in power. If he gets hit by a tornado of rejection, and everyone ignores him, then he will have to stop. Or explode. Either or.

So, to summarise, we all go through these stages. One time or another, we become on of these types of jerks. Heck, some of us even become two or more of these jerk simultaneously. You also have to remember that the physce of the jerk is like a crystal. They usually do it because they feel insecure about themselves. While sometimes you need to take down a jerk in order for them to learn, just be wary. He may have been mildly annoying before, but now he may kill you.

Who are we really? (Yesterday's Tomorrow's Accompanying blog!)

Name:
Sex:
Hair color:
Height:
Weight:
Eye color:
Distinguishing features:

Sure, this might be how we are described by the government (Who counts you just as a vote), but "Who are we really?"

We are people.
When you come down to it, we are all just people. We are all human. We are all part of this great race, for better or worse, in sick ness and in health... You get the idea. And I hope I didn't offend the talking dog. I may have a blog dedicated to you later on.

We are unique.
Sure, you hear it all the time, but we are unique. (Just like everyone else?) There are things that make you who you are. A certain "Je ne sais quoi." Such as me writing in French and incorporating clichés at random times. Uniqueness.

We have a soul/personality.
Our essence. We do things because of who we are. And who we are is called our personality. However, it is also called our soul, and many other things. We ask ourselves questions about who we are. Interpersonal reflection. We change who we are, and sometimes we are better for it, but other times we aren't. And does assigning character traits to a person make them act that way?

Are we just a list of facts?
Sure, we've all done things. We've all been places, seen sight, learnt, loved, lost, been hurt. But does that make up who we are? Can we be saving in a computer as a huge list of dates, places and events? In short, maybe. We change what we do based on past experiences. We adapt. We might just be a complex set of variables for wittiness, health, humour, happiness, anger, boredom, etc. which are just changed depending on what occurs.
So are we a list of facts? No. Could you make a person out of a list of facts? Yes, but it would not be a perfect copy.

How to sum up? Well, I think that Doctor Who has a good way.

Doctor: "Now. First things first. Be honest. How do I look?"
Rose: "Umm... different."
Doctor: "Good different or bad different?"
Rose: "Just, different."
Doctor: "Am I... ginger?"
Rose: "No, you're just sort of brown."
Doctor: "Ah! I wanted to be ginger! I've never been ginger! And you Rose Tyler! Fat lot of good you were! You gave up on me! Oh, that's rude. So that's what I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger..."
Harriet: "I'm sorry, who is this?"
Doctor: "I'm the Doctor"
Rose: "He's the Doctor."
Harriet: "Well what happened to my Doctor? Or is it a title that is just passed on?"
Doctor: "I'm him. I'm literally him. Same man, new face. Well, new everything."
Harriet: "But you can't be!"
Doctor: "Harriet Jones. We were trapped in Downing Street, and the one thing that scared you wasn't the aliens; wasn't the war. It was the thought of your mother being on her own."
Harriet: "Oh my God."
Doctor: "Did you win the election?"
Harriet: "Landslide majority."
Sycorax: "If I might interrupt."
Doctor: "Yes. Sorry. Hello, big fella."
Sycorax: "Who exactly are you?"
Doctor: "Well, that's the question."
Sycorax: "I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE!"
Doctor: "I DON'T KNOW! See, that's the thing. I'm The Doctor, but beyond that, I, I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. So I'm untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Wild misery? Life and soul? Right handed, left handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a goal."

Sums up life pretty well.

Who are we really? (Accompanying blog tomorrow, I hope!)

I was told today that someone I know has her father saying that I'm not who I say I am. Of course, talking to anyone on the internet has the risk that they are not who they say they are. Even someone you just talked to yesterday at school. Someone could just log in as them on MSN, and you would have no way of knowing.

Now with this being said, there are a few ways to work around this problem. One is voice. You can ask the person in question to simply send you a voice clip of them saying a phrase of your choice. Either it is the real person, or a hacker with highly elaborate voice software. Personally, I don't think that it could do it correctly as even the voices they have for Microsoft (Microsoft Sam) are still very computerized.

Now that all works for someone you have met. But what about the person you have met online and not in real life? Well, this is where the problem gets much more complicated. See, you can't overly be sure that it is really the person who you think it is with any amount of great ease. You can't be sure of their location, what they like, or anything really. Sure, you can listen to them speak (or type in this case) and find out if anything they say contradicts anything else they have said. This works simply because it is hard to keep up another personality.

So you can watch what they type and how they type, but that doesn't give you too much. So you can ask them for audio clips of themselves. While it may seem intrusive to ask for someone to say something of your choosing over the internet, if you want to be sure, this is a very good way. It could effective foil hackers who say they are females, when they are really 35 year old males trying to get your password.

So sure, you have their voice, but that still doesn't perfectly link what they are saying, to what they type. I mean, worse case scenario is that they have their sibling or child come in and talk to you for the audio parts, and they type the rest. The next step is video and audio combined. Some people may ask why not use pictures? Simple. Pictures can be downloaded off a website and then sent to someone. Another idea I have heard is to get the person to take their picture in front of a certain thing which you specify. Photoshop, however, can get around this. However, if you do go this route, look for similar expressions repeated numerous times.

Ok. So back to the video and audio idea. Why does this work? Well, you can see them say and hear what they say. This way, you know that it is one person (or, perhaps two people who can sync their voices perfectly.) Without going into the last possibility, a video and audio link has one major drawback, and that is privacy. Do you trust this person enough to see who they really are? And do they trust you enough to show you?

So no matter how you look at it, the person you think you’re talking to and the person you are talking to may be two different people. Sure, you can try to make sure that they are who they say they are, but you can't be sure. At least not completely. So you have to take a leap of faith, and just believe. And I mean, as long as you aren't doing anything compromising, such as sending him/her nude pictures of yourself, giving away passwords, or credit card numbers, you should be ok either way.

In Order To See Life, You Have To See Death

I talked to Josh about how I will have to get on the bus with “The Stoners”, as I affectionately call them, as we walked through the campus to get home. “The Stoners” are a group of young high school students, many of which smoke both cigarettes, as well as other substances, always try to act cool by spitting at people, and just general intimidate others. Since I, being of sound mind and body, do not like to be degraded, as I do not believe I should, I tend to avoid this lot in favour of sitting amongst some trees a few yards away from their congregation. Luckily, almost all of them leave on the bus before mine, so I only have to go near a handful, reducing my stress greatly.

However, as I await the coming of my bus, I decide that now would be a good time to look through my English novel and get some quotes for the impending essay that I shall have to write. So I sit down on my jacket with a young tree (which I am not on a first name basis with) looking over my shoulder at what I am reading and the wind turning the pages when it has finished. While I read, a bus comes somewhat silently and removes the infestation from my sight, leaving only a few other university students as well as the nicer of the mob of high schoolers. My shoulders relax as I finish waiting for the 8 to arrive; my bus to arrive.

I enter the doors and notice a vacant seat on the left, just past when the senior citizens are supposed to reside. Quickly, I delve into my novel once more, and begin to hear of what the world may be like in a meager 500 years. I continue perusing the page until a person gets on beside me, and I move over slightly and tuck my backpack in front of my lap, and continue on my imaginary adventure. We arrive at the corner of Weber and university when one of my favourite little bus mates (my term, referring to someone who I often see on the bus) boards the bus.

She is wearing a pink parka (who says you can’t be fashionable and functional at the same time?) and carrying on with a few of her friends as always. What I really like about her is her personality. She will talk to anyone when she feels like it, but she is not intrusive. She once had a conversation with two adults she just met on the bus about kidnapping, and stated her points very eloquently.

So, I return to my book again after that minor interruption, only to hear a thud (although the sound was probably something different, my memory is modified every time I recall what occurred.) I looked out of my fantasy world and thought Did we just hit the curb? This simple idea is rapidly proven erroneous as I hear murmurs of a car and an accident. The mundane term does nothing to stop my heart from kicking up a notch. I glance over to my left to see an elderly woman getting out of her purple car which has just hit the bus opposite of where I am sitting.

The next few minutes were a bit blurring as they are bound to be when you begin to panic slightly. I say only slightly since I figured that I would just escape back into my book for a while, lest I be asked to do something. While reading, my mind could not focus on the words, and I started to smell something. Instantly, immediately, I think that something is burning, however, for some reason, I don’t panic. In hindsight, I can only guess that I was not able to make the mental leap required to associate burning with potential explosion and that with death.

Due to the smell dissipated with speed, I return to the story until I am rudely interrupted again. This time, it is the same young girl who I admire so talking to the bus driver. What they say I can’t recall, but I do remember the bus driver asking the people on the bus if they thought it was her fault. A resounding no answered her.

The funny thing was that the same girl overreacted a little, and blamed the senior for the problem. An oriental woman tried to help the girl understand by stating that when you get older, your reflexes are slower. She comprehended that, and for the rest of the time I saw her, she no longer blamed the female in the purple car. She even said that it really was just an accident.

Many people decided to depart the company of the bus driver and the rest of the occupants of the bus as they had places to be, and an accident did not work with their plan for the day. I was fortunate enough to not have anything to do afterwards, so I stayed behind, hoping that maybe I could do something. Why, you may ask. Well, there had been a nice young man (I say young because he was probably in his mid 20’s, which is young in the grand scheme) who had been standing on one side of the car that had hit the bus, making sure that everyone could get around it well.

Then we were jolted forward. Looking out my window on my right, I see a man in a blue car with a long scratch down the side. Seems he needed gas, and since the bus was blocking most the driveway, he tried the old idea of mind over matter. It failed him miserably. His first line uttered? “It’s more on my car then on the bus,” I believe. He thought that the fact that he had been inconvenienced more than the bus driver should make it acceptable. I thought this slightly daft at first, but later discovered that he was trying to have her not call the cops since he didn’t have any insurance.

By this time, the situation had been assessed by everyone onboard, and no one had been hurt at all. This was good. One of my more humorous memories has to be of the bus driver looking the woman’s teeth by taking her finger and moving her lip out of the way. That, and now, as people began to walk of the bus to check both accidents and try to see the next bus. Eventually, I was left alone on the bus.

I sat in my seat for a while, thinking about nothing in particular. After you are in a situation like that, and all the danger is removed, all you can really do is reflect. However, my thoughts meandered back to the idea of having the whole bus to myself, and although I didn’t do anything, I still think it made me feel good to know that I was the only person on the bus for a little while. It gave me some time to think things through, and yet not have to. Simply be safe was enough for a while. But, I finally gave into getting out of the bus in favour of seeing what had happened to the bus itself. I really only stayed on the less damaged side and thought about nothing some more.

I heard sirens. I had an instinct to look to my right even though the sirens appeared to be coming from my left. I had got lucky again, and saw the fire engine round the corner and park on the street behind the senior citizen’s car. They first checked on her and were informed of the situation, and about two minutes later, more sirens were heard and an ambulance arrived on the scene. This was then followed by another ambulance about three minutes later.

But why do I glaze over this part? Because, we all have seen movies and television programs which depict this things as grand rescues and feats of heroism. In my eyes though, the feat of heroism had yet to happen. And so, as I saw the next bus loom ever closer, I knew that my time there would have to end. And as such, I still did nothing, as there was nothing to do. Except wait, and get on the bus when it arrived.

And it did arrive, the whole aged thing that it was. It was in fine working order, I assure you, but after being on one the newest buses, and then being transferred to one of the oldest, it shatters your idea of a chariot to take you home. And the rattling of the bus made me wonder if it was an ominous sign.

If you recall the girl I mentioned early, she was still present at this point. In fact, she sat directly across from me, and said after about three or four stops “What grade are you in?” This question stuck me as odd, but I responded confidently “Grade 12.” “Oh. That’s why you’re so quiet.”

The words made me light up inside, and I turned to look ahead at what was upcoming on our ride, smiling. My mate keep talking to some friends, and said something that astounded me, not because of what she said, but that she said it, and that she was so young (13 or so). “You keep thinking that it is going to happen again.” But, not to be outdone, she remarks less than a minute later “It is almost as if nothing happened.”

The second statement floored me. Not only was it true, but it was almost exactly what I was thinking, and the truly amazing part is that she said it out loud, and that she actual thought of it. I mean, no one was hurt, no one was emotionally affected greatly, and the only things that had been damaged were physical. It was really like it had never happened.

I looked out my window surprised at this little girl still, only to see an oriental woman in a silver car panicking slightly as our bus turned left, and she turned right on the inside of our turn. For a split second though, I thought “It’s going to happen again.” And then her other statement slapped me in the face. And I was amazed all over again.

She got of the bus a stop ahead of me, but she stayed with me somewhat. For when I got off the bus myself, I paused and said “And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.” And I sung during my entire walk home.

The few, The proud, The...

PEOPLE WHO HAVE FOUND THIS BLOG!

Yes, you read right folks. I found out that this is not a public blog. So if you found your way here, you are one of the few who have. And because of this, POST A COMMENT! Yep. Post a comment to this blog, so I can keep tabs on who has made it this far.

COMMENT!

Oh, Gmail. You rock my world.

I just found out that you can make this blog show up as an atom feed. And then you can check out all the cool things that I have found, or are making, or want to make, etc. etc. Oh, and e-mail me if you want to become part of my blogging world. I'm changing this into more of a half serious, half funny place. Tell me what you think!

The Blog Master

Now Why Do I Have A Blog?

I honestly don't know. Well that's a lie. I do know. I did this so that I could be a team member on Harrison's blog. Thing is, I don't need to have one he tells me now. Well isn't this just a great peice of information? So I should probably say something worthwhile now, shouldn't I?

Well, I am Travis. That says it all. I hope.