Use The Force Luke

Our parents do it all the time. They take us and force us to do things we'd rather not have. For example, there's my graduation a little while ago.

I didn't want to go. I’d have to dress up, only to have a gown cover up what I was wearing. (We all looked like we were from Hogwarts too!) It seemed ridiculous. Why dress up only to hide it? It made as much sense to me as having a stripper wear a wedding gown only to take it off two seconds later.

Then there was the idea of a celebration for graduating anyway. I would get my diploma regardless of going, so why go? I'd just have to sit there for an hour or two, listening to people talk about stuff I didn't care about. I didn't want to waste my Friday evening in such a meaningless way. I was hell-bent against the whole thing.

But I was forced to go.

Did I regret it? Not really. I got over the whole wearing a dress shirt and pants, and I did sweat. But the fun I had with people there was more than worth it. I got to see people who I hadn't seen in a while, as well as make some memories that'll, appropriately enough, last a lifetime.

Sure, I may have logically approached the situation, had the same information as my parents on the ceremony, etc., but I lacked the understanding. As explained previously, that lack of understand lead to different conclusions on the part of myself and my parents. Their conclusion was right.

Now, this being said, I have two things to show through this example: the idea of parents living through their kids is something we all do, just in different forms, and sometimes people need to be forced into situations they don't want to be, and they will thank you in the end.

The first is the most important. Most people, especially teens, condemn their parents for forcing them to do things they don't want to. It's formally known as living through your children, however, this is just the most obvious manifestation of the human need to live through others.

Why do we watch television? To escape. We imagine ourselves as another person in the same room as those actors. We pretend we're their friends, that our lives are similar to their own.

Why do we play video games? To experience that which we normally cannot. We dive into another world, and take over another person, becoming them. We become ruthless 007, ready to be thrust into another deadly situation.

We do it to our friends too. If someone you know is going to Egypt, you might suggest that they take their picture in front of the Sphinx, mainly because it's something that you'd like to do yourself but cannot. It may not be as enjoyable as going there yourself, but it's something.

Why do you think that people read romance novels? Because they wish to have the same things in those books occur to them, but cannot, so they experience them through the book.

Every single day we live through others. Since we cannot experience all the things we want to, we live through other people. The only reason why we condemn parents is because they have enough influence to make their children do what they want them to. We all live through people to some degree, it's just that parents can, and do, to a greater one.

Now, this brings me to my second point: Some times you need to force people to do things for their own good. Many times we lack the time to explain something to someone so that they will understand, or the ability to break through their emotional barrier to have them analyze the situation logically. In these cases, forcing people to do things is sometimes the best thing to do.

Humans are creatures of habit it has been said. We do what we're used to because it's the easiest and we are the most comfortable like that. If we step outside this comfort zone, we become scared. Humans are scared of the unknown.

This being said, how do we make people break out of their comfort zone? Well, we can either have it occur suddenly, or gradually. To do it suddenly, force must often be applied. To do it gradually though, the situation must be approached with caution, showing the other person that it's not as scary as they think. Patience and perseverance must be used in order to alleviate any remaining fear so that the person is ready to tackle the situation.

Most times though, people cannot be bothered to just sit idly by. Instead they force the other person into the situation. In these cases, there are usually two outcomes: either the person is thankful for the experience, or resentful.

If you truly know that they will be happy about the experience, and you turn out right, then they will thank you. However, if you're wrong, then they will probably resent you for doing it. (However, they may say that the thought counted as you did care enough to try to benefit their life, even if it didn't turn out that way.)

My conclusion? We all live through people, so stop saying that parents are the only people who do it. Secondly, if you think that forcing someone to see something is the only way that they can get the understanding they need, then make sure that you're ready for the outcome. Thirdly, sometimes force is needed in situations in order for them to learn and grow.